Tears or laughter? ***Possibley triggering***

So much about my family-of-origin and the way they still choose to live their lives brings me a huge amount of pain, grief, triggers, anguish, desperation and worry.

I get exasperated at how blind my siblings are to the way things are and here, I am not talking about sexual abuse, which has, as far as I can tell, e confined just to myself, but to the constant emotional, spiritual and psychological abuse that we have all experienced in common. Apparently the sexual and physical abuse was the catalyst that sent me over the edge and out of that place - yes, I am at times (read: often) mildly to severely sarcastic.

As an example, The Bean Pole is soon to be nearer to 30 than 25, but still lives at and works from home, gives over the majority of any income that might happen to be earned to The Father, seeks his approval to any item of clothing bought and has to have his permission before going anywhere outside of the house.

HELLO?!?!?

Nope, to The Bean Pole and the other two siblings, this is "the right way to live", as has been dictated and handed down to them from The Father.

***Possible trigger ***

I recently threw out a skirt that I remember, so vividly, having to wear in front of The Father, while he scrutinized how far past my knees the hem came and whether or not it showed the shape of my bum in any way - no one was allowed to see anything that might possibly suggest that I, or my siblings, had bums or boobs - tut tut!! I had to go back and exchange it for the next size up, as the skirt "hugged me a little too tightly".
I so hated the size 20 t-shirts I was forced to wear, when in actual fact, I was a size 12-14, but no, the t-shirt must not go in EVEN A LITTLE between the nipple and the waist! And who inspected our boobs to make sure we were not "immodest"?!? Uh-huh, that one doesn't need an answer!
Ugh!! Creep!

***

Sometimes, however, despite your worries for the people you care about who are stuck in an unhealthy place, sometimes the way that place works is so flipping predictable, you have to laugh!

That or cry - or for me, not one to cry easily, a different expression ...

I think you can get into your new, healthier way of thinking and running your life that when you realise the way someone from your family of origin has acted, it hits you on the head and you have to go "Duh, of course! I should have known it would happen that way!!" Maybe it's just a constant false-hope that they are going to choose a healthy option?!

I had great hopes for a decision that I had, unusually, helped The Mother arrive at ... but of course, I found out today that it was conducted in the Family of Origins usual twisted way.

Duh!! What else did you expect?!?

So then it was laugh or cry. Thankfully the hubby helped me laugh.

Banging my head against the wall ...